it all started with a song.

i. late at night and i couldn't sleep. all i want is to distract myself from all the things and feelings that i want to bury. i'm no longer interested in the things i used to love, so i don't know what to do. but there, i saw your profile and your anthem. i feel amped that you're a fan of the cab too. we talked for a few hours, and at that moment i knew i'd like to know more about you.

ii. you're smart, witty, and full of insights. you always answer my questions with all honesty. hearing your voice and laughing with me makes me feel happy and my heart at ease—i can listen to you all day and night. you're free-spirited, i admire you for that. i like that we have great music taste and that we can talk about anything. i never once felt you're not interested in the things i randomly throw in our conversation. boy, you can keep up with me because you're so random and have substance too.

i like you so much it terrifies me. i thought the things i don't like about you would override the feelings i have for you. 


iii. i didn't know three weeks is enough to know that connection exists between us. we confide in each other—our past, flaws, issues, regrets, and the things we don't want to share with anyone. i then realized the downside of being honest and genuine—we easily get attached because we pour our soul into people in an instant.

iv. i'm thankful that i got to know you. you make me feel good about myself every time i self-deprecating, and you always try to understand me. thank you for calming my anxiety. thank you for respecting my decisions, and for not making advances on me when we were alone. thank you for making me feel things in a good way.

you said, "one right decision and you'll be moving forward again." this is the right decision. i'm going to follow all the advice you said to me now.

v. it's late at night again, and i couldn't sleep. all i want is to write this narrative to say that you helped me accept and forget the past that i want to bury the first time we talked. i'm now decided to stop wooing you because every time i try, negative emotion supersedes. i don't want to ruin the good memories i have with you. i want to look back at it like how you describe a river—calming and magical when the moon reflects on the water.

you know ted mosby said, "nothing good happens after 2 AM." he was wrong, though, because i met you, and i always experience good things with you after 2 AM.

⏩

ares, the god of war is a playlist i made